1. create two converging trails of tiny, tiny cupcakes. like, really small.
2. rig up a box with a stick and a string tied to the stick, looney tunes-style.
3. lay in wait, preferably under cover of foliage
4. pounce like a tiger or a huntress figure/animal of your choosing
real talk here, y’all—things that have worked for me/on me: booze. weed. porn. talking. being naked already for some non-sex-related reason. this. making it into a joke. talking. booze.
the cupcake thing holds up too.
and as I never stop repeating, I don’t even like group sex.