feelingofgaze

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not reticent, I'm Renaissance.
quasi-academic. too old for Tumblr.
some people call me Laura. some people call me Lola. other people call me other things.
ambivalent about most things. enthusiastic about food, reception studies, Pretty Little Liars & women musicians of the 1990s & early 2000s.

twitter.com/lolaleviathan:

    lasvaguest:

    Someday I’m just going to send this song to you.

    in vagueness we find specificity.

    the problem with vagueblogging is not that it’s indirect, but that it’s so direct it’s inappropriate for such a public venue, what Michael Warner calls a “venue of indefinite address.” there’s a bid for safety in the choice of indefinite over definite address, public over private communication. it creates a level of plausible deniability that allows the writer to, for the moment, suspend carefulness and circumspection and experience a sense of catharsis, of letting it all hang out. the stakes are low, since the address is indefinite and thus diffuse, diluted. we can perform vulnerability while protecting ourselves, while actually building/reinforcing those metaphorical walls that pop psychologists are and my ex-girlfriends were always talking about. [insert obligatory quote from Girls

    this makes me think of several books I’m always thinking about, all examples of excessive self-disclosure which I’m sure some have considered inappropriately confessional: the buddhistBluets and I Love Dick, each of which is addressed by a female speaker identified with the actual author (Dodie Bellamy, Maggie Nelson, and Chris Kraus, respectively) to a specific man. in the cases of the buddhist and I Love Dick, and also Marie Calloway’s “Adrien Brody” which should be on this list, those men’s names, etc. are easily found with a quick Google search. (I haven’t tried with Bluets but I’d imagine you could.) this, I think, is a totally badass move but at this point in my life, this kind of exposure, of myself or another person, is something I would never—and I can’t underscore how deeply neh-ver—do. that I ever did, or nearly did, and continue to feel the impulse to perform such excessive specific disclosures, is endlessly fascinating to me. 

    — 8 hours ago with 4 notes
    #vulnerability as ruse  #rhetoric of confession  #confessionalbooth 
    I do like to keep abreast of innovations in licorice.

    I do like to keep abreast of innovations in licorice.

    — 11 hours ago with 1 note
    At least there is this sweet weird wolf - dragon who can tell when I’m grumpy and will jump on me to give me stinky kisses and gently bite my hand. #yrdailymags #dogsofinstagram

    At least there is this sweet weird wolf - dragon who can tell when I’m grumpy and will jump on me to give me stinky kisses and gently bite my hand. #yrdailymags #dogsofinstagram

    — 1 day ago with 5 notes
    #dogsofinstagram  #yrdailymags 
    "When you’re writing fiction, everybody thinks you’re secretly writing about real people and things. But if you write an autobiography, they think you’re lying. As one does."
    Margaret Atwood on nprbooks (via 57thstreetbooks)
    — 1 day ago with 87 notes
    #rhetoric of confession 
    Mb I will start a separate IG for pictures of my favorite public restrooms (at Paramount Theater - Historic Venue)

    Mb I will start a separate IG for pictures of my favorite public restrooms (at Paramount Theater - Historic Venue)

    — 1 day ago with 2 notes
    Scenes from life

    1. One of the few straight students in my class had never heard of Tegan and Sara and everybody immediately schooled her, which led to a discussion of the politics of going to see Tegan and Sara when they open for Katy Perry. Precious moments.

    2. Student: oh, we’re allowed to cuss now? Me: you’ve always been allowed.

    — 2 days ago with 7 notes
    topsidepress:

BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL! 
Are you back to sitting in a literature, women’s studies, queer theory, or another related class at some too-expensive university and finding that the syllabus is a little, er, light on the trans authors? We’ve been there.
Our 2013 zine, “Is There A Transgender Text In This Class?” makes the case that trans lit can and should be a part of many more academic discussions than it is right now. It also addresses the topic of “authentic” trans literature as well as offers a number of primary texts of fiction and poetry that we recommend.
As of today, It’s is available to download + print as a booklet-ready PDF, meaning the pages are in the right order so that anyone can easy print it, copy it double-sided, and have copies of their own to pass around to friends… or maybe a professor who needs to get a clue.
Download the booklet/print-ready version here. [PDF]
4 sheets of paper = 2 complete zines! 
Pro tip: Don’t have a long-arm stapler? No problem! Print + fold the zine, then trim off 1/4” from the edge using scissors or a paper-cutter. Voila! You can now staple it with a regular stapler.
If you just want to read the zine on your computer, it’s probably easier to get a copy here: http://topsidepress.com/zine
This zine is 100% free to copy and distribute. Share with abandon!
OH WAIT HEY WE PROBABLY NEED YOUR HELP! Once all this tour stuff is over, we should probably update it with new books, right? What are some trans fiction and poetry books that we should add to the resources section? Reblog w/your recommendations! (The main requirement is that the book is in print and for sale, since it’s pretty hard for professors to use rare or out of print books in their classes.)
We’ll try to issue an updated version by the end of this year, so send us your faves!
Also, duh: Wanna see some real live trans authors read their real fun new stuff? Casey Plett and Sybil Lamb are **currently** on a 37-city road trip tour of the US&Canada reading with tons and tons of local trans authors. Find out which city near you they’re coming to: http://www.topsidepress.com/tour

    topsidepress:

    BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL! 

    Are you back to sitting in a literature, women’s studies, queer theory, or another related class at some too-expensive university and finding that the syllabus is a little, er, light on the trans authors? We’ve been there.

    Our 2013 zine, “Is There A Transgender Text In This Class?” makes the case that trans lit can and should be a part of many more academic discussions than it is right now. It also addresses the topic of “authentic” trans literature as well as offers a number of primary texts of fiction and poetry that we recommend.

    As of today, It’s is available to download + print as a booklet-ready PDF, meaning the pages are in the right order so that anyone can easy print it, copy it double-sided, and have copies of their own to pass around to friends… or maybe a professor who needs to get a clue.

    Download the booklet/print-ready version here. [PDF]

    4 sheets of paper = 2 complete zines! 

    Pro tip: Don’t have a long-arm stapler? No problem! Print + fold the zine, then trim off 1/4” from the edge using scissors or a paper-cutter. Voila! You can now staple it with a regular stapler.

    If you just want to read the zine on your computer, it’s probably easier to get a copy here: http://topsidepress.com/zine

    This zine is 100% free to copy and distribute. Share with abandon!

    OH WAIT HEY WE PROBABLY NEED YOUR HELP! Once all this tour stuff is over, we should probably update it with new books, right? What are some trans fiction and poetry books that we should add to the resources section? Reblog w/your recommendations! (The main requirement is that the book is in print and for sale, since it’s pretty hard for professors to use rare or out of print books in their classes.)

    We’ll try to issue an updated version by the end of this year, so send us your faves!

    Also, duh: Wanna see some real live trans authors read their real fun new stuff? Casey Plett and Sybil Lamb are **currently** on a 37-city road trip tour of the US&Canada reading with tons and tons of local trans authors. Find out which city near you they’re coming to: http://www.topsidepress.com/tour

    — 2 days ago with 59 notes

    feelingofgaze:

    fucking crushes, man. the best worst best. whether this comes to something, or whether it comes to nothing, I feel secure in the knowledge that I lavish my attention only on those who deserve it. the best. smartest. funniest. sexiest. people. y’all think I’m real dignified but I am literally just rolling around in bed & smiling because this person came to my house. because I may be 28, but I am also 12. may it always be.

    Questions about reblogs: does changing the context change the referents?

    Tumblr temporalities

    To rewrite Billy Bragg, I was 28 when I wrote this blog, just turned 31 but I won’t be for long. I am 31 but I am also 28 and also 12.

    Questions about brand: are my other blogs all just sub-brands of the somewhat stable somewhat protean @feelingofgaze brand (whatever that is)?

    (via lasvaguest)

    — 2 days ago with 9 notes
    #i reblog myself  #i reblog myself reblogging myself  #vulnerability as ruse  #rhetoric of confession  #If you can't be free be a mystery 
    Sometimes, in the days which are coming—-God grant me the grace to live in them—in the glare of the grey morning, sour-mouthed, eyelids raw, hair tangled and damp from my stormy sleep, facing, over coffee and cigarette smoke, last night’s impenetrable, meaningless boy who will shortly rise and vanish like the smoke, I will see Giovanni again, as he was that night, so vivid, so winning, all of the light of that gloomy tunnel trapped around his head. 

    James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room, 1956

    it’s such an absolute pleasure to re-read one of my favorite books with a group of students who are reading it, and Baldwin, for the first time. their reviews: “rad!”, “so real.” 

    — 3 days ago with 6 notes
    #confessionalbooth  #james baldwin  #I am the queer studies professor your mother warned you about 

    lasvaguest:

    Skills include: beating a dead horse, casting pearls before swine.

    — 3 days ago with 1 note
    #I reblog myself 
    at Lamar and North Loop

    at Lamar and North Loop

    — 3 days ago with 7 notes

    start-anywhere:

    birdrhetorics:

    spookygasm:

    i like the term ‘gender alignments’ because it presents new identities such as: lawful gender, gender evil, and the ever mysterious gender gender.

    does this mean I can be chaotic femme because also I think my life partner is lawful butch

    oh god

    Unequivocally the best new gender theory I’ve seen in years.

    — 3 days ago with 9930 notes